College Happenings

Why do people stay with people who are not good for them?

I guess I know the answer, because I stayed in relationships longer than I should have.

I have a friend who is just beautiful and sweet and kind and all around good. She is dating a very unnatractive butthead. Yeah, he is nice to me and all, but he doesn’t make her as happy as she should be. I always tell her she is settling. She knows it’s true, but she won’t ditch his ass. I personally think she doesn’t want to be alone.

Now, I don’t have so much experience in the dating department, I had maybe two boyfriends in highschool and two serious ones before I met my perfect man. But, I think what makes me a good advisor is that I went through the yucky ones and now have literally the man of my dreams.

After highschool, all of my friends had boyfriends and half of them were getting married. I was hanging out with this guy and thought he’d be a decent boyfriend. He wasn’t that attractive, or smart, but I thought he would apprecriate me more, cause I was out of his league. At first he treated me good, then his loser side began to appear. After about two months of being with him, I knew I should leave him, but I didn’t. He got in my head and I didn’t think anyone else could like me. He would say things like, “All of my friends don’t know why I am with you, they think you are such a bitch, and they don’t think you are pretty.” I would beleive him. Over time my self esteem got really low.

Then one day after being with him about a year one of my friends asked me why I stayed with him. I didn’t know. But I told her that I would know when it was time to leave. Then one day as the guy was telling me how my schedule was going to be, that he was going to stay with me every other night and I had to check in when he wasn’t with me. I just knew. It clicked. I told him no that I didn’t love him and he needed to leave. He threw a hammer at me. Nice huh.

He continued to stalk me for a while, but I knew I had made the right choice.

Then, I met a guy who was nice and good looking. He was very jealous and controlling though. He didn’t beat my self esteem down, but he still wasn’t right for me. I stayed with him for two LONG years untill I moved to Montana. He didn’t come with me and I realized how happy I was away from him. He is a good person and a good friend, just not the person for me.

Then I met Chris, and not to sound cheesy, but he really does complete me. He is not perfect, he cusses to much and smokes and spends a lot of time working on cars, but he fits me. He is perfect for me.

I believe that there is someone perfect for my friend out there. She just has to know she deserves better.

So, if you are with someone who isn’t your perfect match, ditch them. Life is too short to hang out with a jerk just so you have someone.